Anyone else remember watching that GoT episode?!

It’s been running through my mind over the last few weeks – and I wanted to share transparently, some of the thoughts that have run through my head over the last 3.5 years of running my business.

I *think* this is the first time that I’ve shared this, but my family is Catholic. It’s something that my friends and I often joke about because we are all super self critical… and I used to think it was normal.

From a young age, I was schooled by the loveliest nuns and priests you can ever imagine. Strict education on maths, literature, science… and things like original sin.

Now, don’t get me wrong, religion teaches many amazing things. The commandments are all about being kind, living in integrity – and other things that I hugely respect.

But this idea of pre-conceived sin and never-ending shame if you get one thing wrong, paralyses me sometimes.

You see, I operate in an industry where integrity and authenticity are words that we bandy around regularly. But that few of us actually operate according to the code.

And for the last 3.5 years, I feel like I’ve inherited the sin of others.
I’ve focused so hard on being different.
Punishing myself for other people’s lack of integrity.

And that has to stop.
You see, most people come to me once they’ve been burned.
They’ve had a couple of coaches who don’t care.
They’ve spent their tens of thousands of dollars on ads, funnels … and they still haven’t seen their ROI.

And for years, I’ve taken that on.
I’ve gone above and beyond for all of my clients.
I’ve fought so hard to remain open and transparent – even when it’s been hard.
I’ve worked my arse off to show that you CAN build a business under the INTEGRITY banner.

But I’ve also punished myself.
Priced my services too low… because I’ve wanted to always be accessible to everyone.
Taken two and a half YEARS to announce how successful my business was… because I didn’t want other people to feel bad.
Let my boundaries and standards slip… because I was trying to make up for the mistakes that people were suffering from due to other coaches.

I can’t do that anymore.
Not because I have to put my business head on.
But because I thought I had given up punishing myself alongside the remnants of my Holy Communion dress… and it turns out that I hadn’t.

So yes – I’ve been quiet.
And yes, I’m still letting all of this percolate in my mind.
Because I don’t really know how I want to proceed just yet.

But I wanted to share it with all of you.
Because I see SO many women (and Scott!) in here with amazing skills, talents and compassion.
Who feel like frauds.
Who have imposter syndrome.
Who don’t want people to think that they’re ‘that kind of coach/ consultant/ trainer/ VA’… the list goes on.
Who are busting their balls to make up for all the shitty experiences that someone has had before.
Who are working all the hours, overwhelmed, frustrated and sad.

And who still desperately want their businesses to help others.

It just can’t come at the expense of YOU.
Your celebrations.
Your growth and development as a business owner.
Your commitment to high standards and boundaries.
Your ability to charge and receive the money that YOU want.
Your compassion and tolerance and dedication to helping your clients be the best that THEY can be.

That’s what I want to change.
And ultimately, I have to lead that charge.
So maybe I’ll be changing some things.
And maybe I won’t.

But one thing I won’t be doing is judging myself so harshly for the decisions that I make.
Because mistakes are there to be made.
Lessons are there for the learning.

And I’m not afraid of this online world anymore.
I’m not afraid of what people think.
I’m not ‘unapologetic’ – because I DO care.
But I care what the RIGHT people think.
Not about the ‘new hot cliques’
Not about the ‘key influencers’

Just my community.
My clients.
And my family.

So if you’ve ever felt any of these things, know that you’re not alone.
And know that it’s not about trying to change who YOU are.
It’s about accepting ALL of yourself.
The perfect pieces, the flaws, and everything inbetween.
And knowing that no-one has the ability to make you feel inferior – unless you let them. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

I’m done with feeling like I have something to prove.
Making up for other people.

Are you?