What Are You Willing To Give Up?

What Are You Willing To Give Up?

What are you willing to give up?

I hear you. You are the action taker. You’re the woman that is ready to have it all. To build her own business, to be the best version of yourself that you can be… to ‘rule the world yo!’ (Note: I’m definitely not cool enough to pull off that last bit!) But what are you actually willing to give up?

So often we see overnight success stories – genuinely amazing women who have absolutely ACED it in business in short spaces of time… but we don’t always see the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into that success. We miss the sleepless nights, the money struggles, the eating toast/ beans/ anything left in the cupboards while they invest in more learning, further development, and visibility. Overnight success is hard work – and during the month/ two months that it takes these powerhouse women to step up, own their business fully and start making their dreams reality…there’s actually a fair amount of things that get given up – temporarily – for the sake of business building.

1) Social life. When I was building my business, I spent three months effectively like a little hermit… locked away in my home office, I avoided all sunlight, became slightly nocturnal… and grew fangs! (I’m kidding..!) There wasn’t a lot of time for my friends… luckily they understood that I was doing all this to eventually have LOTS of time to spend with them… but there were a few occasions that my business became a bone of contention – especially for nights out.

2) Little luxuries. Seriously – I invested ALL the money that I could into my business and making it work. To the point where I even bought that awful cheap toilet paper. You know – the one that literally feels like you have basically just taken printer paper to your behind? Little luxuries are important to make you feel good – and they tell the Universe that you’re ready for abundance – but I know what it’s like… every penny counts. (FYI – if you’re in this phase currently – just buy nice loo roll – seriously – it’s like $1.50 more and means that you don’t get cranky!)

3) Your patience. Patience disappears when you’re making a breakthrough in your biz. My boyfriend would drive me nuts; telling me to ‘slow down’ or ‘do it tomorrow’. I was well known for snapping at ANYONE who told me to relax – and it paid off. My total lack of patience and desire to MAKE IT HAPPEN NOW meant that my business (and I) started to fly pretty quickly.

So there you have it. When you look at the overnight success story superwoman and you wonder why you ‘can’t’ do that…the answer is that you absolutely can. You just need to reframe your perspective and realise that having it all means maybe giving something up to get there 

*** CHRISTMAS EVE GRATITUDE ***

*** CHRISTMAS EVE GRATITUDE ***

It feels like this year has flown by – and I just wanted to pop in before all of the festivities start (although in the Tooth /Lorimer household, we’ve already cracked open the festive wines..!) to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone in this community.

Over the last 12 months, we’ve seen some incredible changes in here.

We’ve gained new members.
Participated in challenges.
Grown businesses.
Changed mindsets.
Opened the doors to some amazing men and women.
Made new friends.
Continued to love old friends.
Had Ryan Gosling meme fests.
Hilarity and laughter.
Tears…
Started (and continued!) challenging conversations.
Set BIG goals… And achieved them!

But most of all, we’ve become better business people, gained more integrity and become the best versions of ourselves… For 2017 at least! 

So regardless of whether or not, you celebrate Christmas… I just wanted to say thank you for being here and participating so fully.

I am truly so grateful for you all – and can’t wait to see you all succeed in 2018!

*** And I hope that you all have brilliant festive seasons filled with chocolate, biscuits and ridiculous roast dinners! And karaoke of course! ***

I’ll be popping in over the festive season – and will officially be back to ‘work’ in January! Enjoy your time off – and please pop in and share your Christmas snaps – I love epic Christmas photos!!

****4 Years Ago Today***

****4 Years Ago Today***

According to Facebook (the best kind of reminder app!), I was getting all dolled up for my office Christmas ‘do’. At that point in time, I was working for a company who had over 5000 employees across 35 countries. This particular Christmas party was held at the Tower of London and I remember telling my mum about it… she was hugely excited about me going to a private event at the Tower of London… and I… well I just wasn’t interested.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love the venue. It wasn’t even that I didn’t love the job. It’s that I knew what would happen. I’d put in a full 14 hour day at work. Grabbed a 30-minute ‘up-style’ hair appointment at lunchtime. Got ready in the toilets. Was making a speech at 9pm. Won an award. Drank a LOT of wine. Got home at 3:30 am in a taxi that smelled strongly of marijuana… INSANELY strongly. Contemplated calling my boss to let him know that the taxi firm that we’d hired were complete reprobates. Went to bed.. woke up at 5am to head back to work. Latecomers had to do early morning shots of pure vodka or rum. At 7:30 AM. (Stereotypical sales environment… I even still have the video somewhere) It had been the same every year. Never changed. Occasionally the numbers did… but the slightly dirty feeling of post-Christmas party never did. I was tired. Worn out. Burning out. And two days after this photo was taken, I was told by my doctor that it was a choice between being bedridden – and my job. It’s funny how quickly things change. I haven’t had a burn out episode in 4 years. I’ve also not been required to do 7:30am shots. Or to magic time for hair appointments.. I loved my corporate job. But I love my LIFE way more now.

INSPIRATION VS IMATATION

INSPIRATION VS IMATATION

Something I say to my audience regularly, is that none of us are reinventing the wheel of business.

We ALL get our inspiration from somewhere.

But my big question for business owners, is when do we stray from taking inspiration from someone else’s content into imitating that person… and how does that affect our business?

For me, there’s a fine line between inspiration and imitation… based on morals/ ethics and legalities.

The definition of plagiarism for example, is taking someone’s work and passing it off as your own.

We ALL know that plagiarism and copying is wrong.

But what about when you’re a struggling business owner who really looks up to a specific industry influencer/ leader?

Does it really hurt your business to emulate them?
To spread the same message?
To use similar colours/ graphics/ fonts?
To focus on being the best ‘new’ version of them that you can be?

Short answer?

YES.

Of course it does.
It dilutes YOUR message.
Stops people seeing the authenticity behind your work.
Doesn’t show people your USP
And positions you as ‘just another version of [INSERT NAME HERE]

We ALL want to stand out from the crowd.
And we may have similar ideas.
But it’s about expressing them in your unique way.
From your own perspective and experience.
Not simply rehashing other content and passing it off as your own.

It’s okay to want to emulate business leaders.
It’s okay to want their success.

But do it on your own terms.
In your own way.
With your own values.

Because your audience want YOU.
Not a half baked version of someone else.

#StandOutFromTheCrowd

[Image Credit: The Fresh Hues Blog]

Shame

Shame

Anyone else remember watching that GoT episode?!

It’s been running through my mind over the last few weeks – and I wanted to share transparently, some of the thoughts that have run through my head over the last 3.5 years of running my business.

I *think* this is the first time that I’ve shared this, but my family is Catholic. It’s something that my friends and I often joke about because we are all super self critical… and I used to think it was normal.

From a young age, I was schooled by the loveliest nuns and priests you can ever imagine. Strict education on maths, literature, science… and things like original sin.

Now, don’t get me wrong, religion teaches many amazing things. The commandments are all about being kind, living in integrity – and other things that I hugely respect.

But this idea of pre-conceived sin and never-ending shame if you get one thing wrong, paralyses me sometimes.

You see, I operate in an industry where integrity and authenticity are words that we bandy around regularly. But that few of us actually operate according to the code.

And for the last 3.5 years, I feel like I’ve inherited the sin of others.
I’ve focused so hard on being different.
Punishing myself for other people’s lack of integrity.

And that has to stop.
You see, most people come to me once they’ve been burned.
They’ve had a couple of coaches who don’t care.
They’ve spent their tens of thousands of dollars on ads, funnels … and they still haven’t seen their ROI.

And for years, I’ve taken that on.
I’ve gone above and beyond for all of my clients.
I’ve fought so hard to remain open and transparent – even when it’s been hard.
I’ve worked my arse off to show that you CAN build a business under the INTEGRITY banner.

But I’ve also punished myself.
Priced my services too low… because I’ve wanted to always be accessible to everyone.
Taken two and a half YEARS to announce how successful my business was… because I didn’t want other people to feel bad.
Let my boundaries and standards slip… because I was trying to make up for the mistakes that people were suffering from due to other coaches.

I can’t do that anymore.
Not because I have to put my business head on.
But because I thought I had given up punishing myself alongside the remnants of my Holy Communion dress… and it turns out that I hadn’t.

So yes – I’ve been quiet.
And yes, I’m still letting all of this percolate in my mind.
Because I don’t really know how I want to proceed just yet.

But I wanted to share it with all of you.
Because I see SO many women (and Scott!) in here with amazing skills, talents and compassion.
Who feel like frauds.
Who have imposter syndrome.
Who don’t want people to think that they’re ‘that kind of coach/ consultant/ trainer/ VA’… the list goes on.
Who are busting their balls to make up for all the shitty experiences that someone has had before.
Who are working all the hours, overwhelmed, frustrated and sad.

And who still desperately want their businesses to help others.

It just can’t come at the expense of YOU.
Your celebrations.
Your growth and development as a business owner.
Your commitment to high standards and boundaries.
Your ability to charge and receive the money that YOU want.
Your compassion and tolerance and dedication to helping your clients be the best that THEY can be.

That’s what I want to change.
And ultimately, I have to lead that charge.
So maybe I’ll be changing some things.
And maybe I won’t.

But one thing I won’t be doing is judging myself so harshly for the decisions that I make.
Because mistakes are there to be made.
Lessons are there for the learning.

And I’m not afraid of this online world anymore.
I’m not afraid of what people think.
I’m not ‘unapologetic’ – because I DO care.
But I care what the RIGHT people think.
Not about the ‘new hot cliques’
Not about the ‘key influencers’

Just my community.
My clients.
And my family.

So if you’ve ever felt any of these things, know that you’re not alone.
And know that it’s not about trying to change who YOU are.
It’s about accepting ALL of yourself.
The perfect pieces, the flaws, and everything inbetween.
And knowing that no-one has the ability to make you feel inferior – unless you let them. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

I’m done with feeling like I have something to prove.
Making up for other people.
Inferior.

Are you?